Look at those big brown eyes and dimples, yep, he'll be a heartbreaker =)
So Ryan and I were talking last night and we got on this conversation. I thought, isn't it funny how every one always says, "Oh that must be a second child thing." This is to say that parents are more laid back with their children after their first baby, and this is I think definitely true in many ways! But is this supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing? I'm not quite sure!? I guess being able to let things "slide" more the second time around could be both good and bad. We have been pretty laid back parents I think thus far through both our kids. In fact I have joked before, along with Stacy, the mom of the child I keep during the day- if we are this laid back with our first, who knows what we will do with our second!! Well I am only just starting the race here, but I have come to realize a few things already about having a second child...
1. Even if it is the second time around, you don't worry any less!!
Worrying I know is an innate part of being a parent. In Matthew 6, in Christ's sermon on the Mount, He tells us "Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink" and "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about it's own things." But yet we have in our nature, especially as parents to worry about our children! When I read this passage, it makes me think, "Great, I think I actually stand a chance at not worrying about MY life, but what about worrying about my kids lives! Now that's a whole different story!" Well I have said this before and it continues to ring true, being a parent is definitely one of the most effective ways to make us realize that we have to turn our worries over to the Lord and that He is in control.
But anyways, all that to say with my second child, Bennett, I think at times I worry more with him even than I did with Hannah Grace! Ever since we had our little hospital stay with him when he was 4 months old, I am always worried about if he is breathing well enough. I am convinced sometimes that he can't get a good breath, even though deep down I know he's fine.
And here is a good one- I told my mother in law this story, poking fun at myself- The other night Bennett was very fussy and we knew he was teething, so I gave him some of that baby Orajel stuff that numbs there mouth. Well I could have swore up and down that I had heard somewhere that this can actually be bad for babies and that it can numb their mouths so much that they can actually choke, not realizing that their tongue is blocking their airway. Yea, so you better believe I was checking on Bennett every five minutes after I laid him down just to make sure that his tongue was not laying in the back of his throat.. haha, yea, I know, but the crazy things we do...
2. We learn from our mistakes, well some of them hopefully!
Okay so here's a benefit to being a second child. Even though you may not always get the all star attention that the first child gets, in many cases, you are much safer off being a second child. This is what I was telling Ryan last night- I was realizing that with Bennett we have not had some of the traumatic instances happen that we did with Hannah. Bennett is going on nine months old, and when I thought about it, by this time Hannah Grace had already ridden in her car seat (probably more than once) not strapped in, had fallen off the couch, the bed, and had even taken a tumble down a few stairs!! ( I don't think Child Protective Services can read this page!) Well we must learn from our mistakes because Bennett has been able to avoid some of these injuries, and probably largely because we haven't done stupid things like set him on the couch thinking that just because he can't crawl he won't find the edge! So yes, unfortunately I think Hannah got the short end of the stick on this one, as we did not always think things through as well with her because we had never done any of this before!
3. We will never perfect the art of parenthood!
So I just got done saying that we learn from our mistakes, but that doesn't mean we don't still make them. I did do something really dumb the other day that led to a brief scare with Bennett.
Bennett had pulled himself under Hannah Grace's high chair where she was eating pretzels, and being the oh so generous sharer that she is, she decided to drop one on the floor for her brother (this is why Maggie will sit so patiently under Hannah's feet waiting...) Anyways, I was in the kitchen and saw that Bennett had a piece of pretzel and was putting it in his mouth. I thought to myself (obviously very absent mindedly) "Hey at least he's eating it!" It took me a minute and I saw it was all in his mouth and I thought, you know he's probably going to choke on that... and then decided to go try to do "the finger sweep" to get it out of his mouth (which apparently that in itself is a no no). And what do you know, I look up at Ryan and said "Oh gosh! He's choking!" Yeah, so many a times with the kids you hear them kind of cough while eating something and your heart jumps thinking that they might be choking. Well, this wasn't one of those times, this was for real, he didn't turn blue, but he wasn't breathing, crying, etc. You better believe I picked that boy up, turned him over my leg, and patted his back (all this while Ryan was yelling, do I need to call 9-1-1??, haha =) Well sure enough that hunk of pretzel shot out of his mouth like a scene from a movie, it's just too bad it didn't ping off the walls or something like that! So I guess I can't completely brag about not making some of the stupid mistakes I made with Hannah, because I know Bennett will endure his own share of his mother's stupid mistakes.
4. As a second child, you aren't loved any less, in fact you could really look at it as the opposite.
When I was pregnant with Bennett, I already felt sorry for him. I thought to myself, how on earth are we going to love another child as much as we love Hannah Grace- while I knew we would, I just could not wrap my mind around this concept! Well, it is true what they say- you don't have to split your love between your children, it just multiplies more and more! It of course only took, oh a few seconds of having Bennett in our arms to realize our family was just as incomplete without him as it would be with out Hannah. And see the upside here, is that as a younger sibling, you have just as much love from your parents, plus you have love from older siblings, which we have come to realize already at only 21 months and 8 months, how much this little brother and big sister love each other. It is so much fun!
1. Even if it is the second time around, you don't worry any less!!
Worrying I know is an innate part of being a parent. In Matthew 6, in Christ's sermon on the Mount, He tells us "Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink" and "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about it's own things." But yet we have in our nature, especially as parents to worry about our children! When I read this passage, it makes me think, "Great, I think I actually stand a chance at not worrying about MY life, but what about worrying about my kids lives! Now that's a whole different story!" Well I have said this before and it continues to ring true, being a parent is definitely one of the most effective ways to make us realize that we have to turn our worries over to the Lord and that He is in control.
But anyways, all that to say with my second child, Bennett, I think at times I worry more with him even than I did with Hannah Grace! Ever since we had our little hospital stay with him when he was 4 months old, I am always worried about if he is breathing well enough. I am convinced sometimes that he can't get a good breath, even though deep down I know he's fine.
And here is a good one- I told my mother in law this story, poking fun at myself- The other night Bennett was very fussy and we knew he was teething, so I gave him some of that baby Orajel stuff that numbs there mouth. Well I could have swore up and down that I had heard somewhere that this can actually be bad for babies and that it can numb their mouths so much that they can actually choke, not realizing that their tongue is blocking their airway. Yea, so you better believe I was checking on Bennett every five minutes after I laid him down just to make sure that his tongue was not laying in the back of his throat.. haha, yea, I know, but the crazy things we do...
2. We learn from our mistakes, well some of them hopefully!
Okay so here's a benefit to being a second child. Even though you may not always get the all star attention that the first child gets, in many cases, you are much safer off being a second child. This is what I was telling Ryan last night- I was realizing that with Bennett we have not had some of the traumatic instances happen that we did with Hannah. Bennett is going on nine months old, and when I thought about it, by this time Hannah Grace had already ridden in her car seat (probably more than once) not strapped in, had fallen off the couch, the bed, and had even taken a tumble down a few stairs!! ( I don't think Child Protective Services can read this page!) Well we must learn from our mistakes because Bennett has been able to avoid some of these injuries, and probably largely because we haven't done stupid things like set him on the couch thinking that just because he can't crawl he won't find the edge! So yes, unfortunately I think Hannah got the short end of the stick on this one, as we did not always think things through as well with her because we had never done any of this before!
3. We will never perfect the art of parenthood!
So I just got done saying that we learn from our mistakes, but that doesn't mean we don't still make them. I did do something really dumb the other day that led to a brief scare with Bennett.
Bennett had pulled himself under Hannah Grace's high chair where she was eating pretzels, and being the oh so generous sharer that she is, she decided to drop one on the floor for her brother (this is why Maggie will sit so patiently under Hannah's feet waiting...) Anyways, I was in the kitchen and saw that Bennett had a piece of pretzel and was putting it in his mouth. I thought to myself (obviously very absent mindedly) "Hey at least he's eating it!" It took me a minute and I saw it was all in his mouth and I thought, you know he's probably going to choke on that... and then decided to go try to do "the finger sweep" to get it out of his mouth (which apparently that in itself is a no no). And what do you know, I look up at Ryan and said "Oh gosh! He's choking!" Yeah, so many a times with the kids you hear them kind of cough while eating something and your heart jumps thinking that they might be choking. Well, this wasn't one of those times, this was for real, he didn't turn blue, but he wasn't breathing, crying, etc. You better believe I picked that boy up, turned him over my leg, and patted his back (all this while Ryan was yelling, do I need to call 9-1-1??, haha =) Well sure enough that hunk of pretzel shot out of his mouth like a scene from a movie, it's just too bad it didn't ping off the walls or something like that! So I guess I can't completely brag about not making some of the stupid mistakes I made with Hannah, because I know Bennett will endure his own share of his mother's stupid mistakes.
4. As a second child, you aren't loved any less, in fact you could really look at it as the opposite.
When I was pregnant with Bennett, I already felt sorry for him. I thought to myself, how on earth are we going to love another child as much as we love Hannah Grace- while I knew we would, I just could not wrap my mind around this concept! Well, it is true what they say- you don't have to split your love between your children, it just multiplies more and more! It of course only took, oh a few seconds of having Bennett in our arms to realize our family was just as incomplete without him as it would be with out Hannah. And see the upside here, is that as a younger sibling, you have just as much love from your parents, plus you have love from older siblings, which we have come to realize already at only 21 months and 8 months, how much this little brother and big sister love each other. It is so much fun!
So in the thick of it it is hard to say whether you do things the same or differently or whether you are wiser or more relaxed with your second child. All I know is that we are so blessed to have two beautiful, healthy, loving children that we couldn't love more! And every child is different and wonderful in their own way and we truly cherish every part of being their parents- the good and the bad! One thing a heard a mother say on a show one time about her two kids, was (and I am using my kids names here) " I love Hannah in that she made me a mom, but I love Bennett in that he made me a better mom." And our love for our children obviousley goes so much farther than this silly statement, but I liked it and definitely realize there is some truth to it!
I guess looking back so far, I would say the second time around is smoother, maybe the third time's a charm...
And to close out with some more pics-
Speaking of injuries, this was Hannah's latest. This is what your forehead will look like if you use it to break your fall on cement. Daddy was making it better with a popsicle so that is what is on her mouth.
Hannah Grace always has an audience while eating... this picture is with Blake and Maggie, but this is how Bennett got the pretzel. =)
The day we became a family of four and felt like we had never known anything different.
And nine months later we are still loving our family and enjoying the blessings God has so faithfully provided, even for us undeserving sinners!
1 comment:
Your babies are so beautiful! I hope Hannah's head is feeling better!
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